I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize