I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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