i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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