Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
