you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
