i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
