Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
