Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize