I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
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