She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize