Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
