i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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