I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
