dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
