I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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