She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
