It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
