they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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