I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
