He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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