I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize