Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
