Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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