Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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