we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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