Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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