I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
