ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
