Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
