Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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