I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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