he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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