Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
