I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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