Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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