Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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