two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
