what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
