Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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