He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
