I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
