if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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