just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
