She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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