It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
