Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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