bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
tonight lets celebrate not being married
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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