I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize