Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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