He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
