I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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