I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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