I never want to see another naked old woman again.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
