We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
