he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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