i permit you to call me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
