Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
