Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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