Swine flu. Run for my life!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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