she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
