tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
