Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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