omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
