i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
