Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
