I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize