you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
